Aromatherapy Fan Gifts

'I've always been so busy, I've never taken the time to stop and smell one.'

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

DIY marriage counseling.

"It's not expensive, sir, when you consider it's long smell-by date!"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"Where can I find some peace of mind?"

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

"This week we're going to try some regression therapy."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

'This wasn't quite what I had in mind when you suggested 'alternative medicine''

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

Alternative Medicine. Group Hug.

'Extreme acupuncture.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

Therapy for the cow dependent

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

Men and Women's changing rooms

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."