Relaxation Fan Gifts

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

'I don't care if you did say he could try it out. Get rid of him!'

Hot Pie Therapy

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Pre-Television Man Caves

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

DIY marriage counseling.

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

'Have you been working out?'

'How can I get mad at him for sleeping on the job? It was I who told him that taking naps was healthy.'

This historic alpine hut has stood here among the native beech trees for over a century, and may stand for another, often unoccupied by always watched over by that ever playful mountain parrot, the Kea.

Biliard Enthusiast

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

Therapy for the cow dependent

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

Siesta-time

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

A man walking a bowling ball is about to walk into a woman walking a bunch of bowling pins

Businessman needs a cuddle.