Mascot Protector Gifts

Protecting Mr. Peanut.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Endangered wildlife 'Lost' posters stuck on trees surrounded by rubbish

The Golfing Accident

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

A man washing a mascot costume

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

The melting polar ice caps

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

"That's our new church mascot."

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

'Hmm ... wonder how much ivory fetches these days.'

Too many of my babies became coats, so I decided to increase security...

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"These are the environmentalists who set the Amazon forest on fire!"

"When the researcher said we were going to a gated community, I had no idea what he meant."

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

Fox and a little girl hiding from the rest of the hunt.

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

"They didn’t warn us about this in our training"

'Since the North Pole melted and we had to migrate south our camouflage stinks!'

You'll get us thrown out of the carrion Union!

'Hello, are you an endangered species or can I eat you?'

Orange Bengal Tiger

"hmm. Mother Nature's definitely trying to tell us something here."

A bird is strangled by plastic carrier bag, which bears the slogan: Dispose of with care.

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2

"It's called a "sanctuary": they fixed my broken wing, took care of me for a few weeks, then released me. Amazing..."