Mascot Admirer Gifts

"Please call me Michael – Mr. Met is my father's name."

The Phillie Moderate

The Development of the Tchotchke

"Good news is we killed the vampire. Bad news is he was actually our beloved town hero, Mosquito Man."

"This match is intense!"

"Why do you always wear pants?"

Here be dragons.

Love a Mutt

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Sorry...but until we fix the cloaking device, this will have to do."

As the world emerges from the last ice age Ug & Og discuss a historic agreement to reduce CO2 emissions from woolly mammoth barbecues.

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

A man washing a mascot costume

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"That's our new church mascot."

"Say, Honey, how about a nice salad for supper instead?"

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

Edward Elgar.

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

Mammoth Posing

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

Med School Mascots.

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

'Well, shoot. Now Uncle Hector's caught in the ice! It's enough to make you want to move to Florida.'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"Pardon my glove."

"She won't be long, I'm just putting her face on."

'Last warning, Girard! Get rid of that mask!'

"Forget it, Larry. We’re not bringing it home."

Great-Great-Grandson of Godzilla

"It's all about teamwork. We even have our own mascot."

'You've got me all wrong, baby. I don't want to touch your sweater...I want to eat it.'

'What's bright green and scaly, has nine-inch teeth, and eats clubs?'

"I'm going to eat, devour, consume, ingest, absorb and engulf you..!"