Mascot Admirer Pillows

"Please call me Michael – Mr. Met is my father's name."

The Phillie Moderate

The Development of the Tchotchke

"Good news is we killed the vampire. Bad news is he was actually our beloved town hero, Mosquito Man."

"This match is intense!"

Love a Mutt

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Here be dragons.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

A man washing a mascot costume

As the world emerges from the last ice age Ug & Og discuss a historic agreement to reduce CO2 emissions from woolly mammoth barbecues.

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"Sorry...but until we fix the cloaking device, this will have to do."

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"That's our new church mascot."

"Say, Honey, how about a nice salad for supper instead?"

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

Edward Elgar.

Mammoth Posing

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

"She won't be long, I'm just putting her face on."

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

Great-Great-Grandson of Godzilla

'Well, shoot. Now Uncle Hector's caught in the ice! It's enough to make you want to move to Florida.'

'Last warning, Girard! Get rid of that mask!'

"Pardon my glove."

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"Forget it, Larry. We’re not bringing it home."

"It's all about teamwork. We even have our own mascot."

"Is it too much to ask for you to just act paranormal for once?"

'What's bright green and scaly, has nine-inch teeth, and eats clubs?'

"I'm going to eat, devour, consume, ingest, absorb and engulf you..!"

Philip of Mastodon

'Where in the rules does it say I can't keep a mascot in the goals?'