Marriage Preparation Gifts

'Darling...a prenup how wonderful!'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

The Happiest Hen in Acle

"And another thing: What's that strange clicking thing you do with your beak?"

'You've changed since we got married.'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

'You must have one arm shorter than the other.'

'You've got Mr & Mrs Smith at 2.00, Mr & Mrs Jones at 2.30, and at 3.00 your wife has made an appointment with a Divorce Lawyer!'

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

'...Love, honor, cherish, and be careful what you wish for.'

'My wife's therapist doesn't understand me.'

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'Darling, how romantic...a pre-nup.'

Cricketer goes for marriage guidance

'Your therapy helped me leave Frank. Franks wants to thank you personally.'

'Ask him where he goes every December 24th - because he won't tell me!'

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

'Please don't interupt-we've only got 45 minutes.'

"Oh for goodness sake, Walter...speak up when the minister asks you a question!"

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

"I have to confess a sin, Preacher. I went premarital shopping."

"You will awake feeling refreshed...."

'Happy anniversary! It's a season pass for us to go to marriage counseling.'

Scenes from a successful marriage.

"Pre-nups are healthy for a relationship. It's good for our lawyers to get to know one another."

"Just because I didn't tell you to shut up doesn't mean I wasn't listening."

'To qualify for a license, you must pass the marriage test. We put you in a room with your prospective mother-in-law for 24 hours.'

"I'm not withholding. I'm busy."

'He kept winking at one of the bridesmaids.'

"I think he had the idea he was looking at costume jewelry."