Marriage Planning Gifts

"Darling, how wonderful ...a prenup!"

Lesbian civil partnership.

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Boat wedding.

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"...until death do you a favor."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

'He does.'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'I always cry at weddings!'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."