Marital Struggles Gifts

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

"Sorry. No refunds."

Husband is emotionally unavailable to wife.

Roy dreaded the nights his wife would badger him mercilessly.

'I am fed up, we seem to have nothing in common anymore,'

'My wife just passed before my eyes!'

"Now take my life-partner...please...take my life-partner!!"

"We got along much better when our relationship was bicoastal."

"I'm in the dog house more than he is."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

He leaves, but soon realizes his roots run too deep.

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'I want to start by having you take separate staycations.'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

'Will I still be married?'

"We're only staying together for the sake of our marriage guidance counsellor."

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

"When did you first notice your wife was missing?"

Diplomacy

"We were so happy doc. . . but then she changed!"

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

"We both need to get away and unsidewind awhile."

"I mean it this time Brian, it's either me or the jazz!"

'We don't text anymore.'

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'