Marital Struggles Pillows

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

"Sorry. No refunds."

Husband is emotionally unavailable to wife.

Roy dreaded the nights his wife would badger him mercilessly.

'I am fed up, we seem to have nothing in common anymore,'

'My wife just passed before my eyes!'

"Now take my life-partner...please...take my life-partner!!"

"We got along much better when our relationship was bicoastal."

"I'm in the dog house more than he is."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

He leaves, but soon realizes his roots run too deep.

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

'I want to start by having you take separate staycations.'

'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"We're only staying together for the sake of our marriage guidance counsellor."

'Will I still be married?'

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

Diplomacy

"We were so happy doc. . . but then she changed!"

"When did you first notice your wife was missing?"

'We don't text anymore.'

'I get the feeling lately that some of the magic has gone out of our relationship.'

'As your solicitor I must ask you to consider divorce an option of last resort. We could mount a drone strike against your husband at a fraction of the cost.'

"We both need to get away and unsidewind awhile."

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'