Marital Struggle Gifts

"If you want a positive outlook, you're going to have to turn you chair around."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

He leaves, but soon realizes his roots run too deep.

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'

'I want to start by having you take separate staycations.'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

'Will I still be married?'

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

"We're only staying together for the sake of our marriage guidance counsellor."

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

"When did you first notice your wife was missing?"

Diplomacy

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

"We both need to get away and unsidewind awhile."

'I get the feeling lately that some of the magic has gone out of our relationship.'

"We were so happy doc. . . but then she changed!"

Lady Justice Balances A Marriage Quarrel

'I'm sorry, but I just can't handle you being out at sea for so long.'

"...and what has my culinary genius conjured up to delight my taste buds tonight?"

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

"They're going through a bitter marriage."

"I'm starting to believe that this relationship was doomed from the start...!"