Management Mockery Fan Gifts

"There goes the person that proved the Peter principal faster than anyone in history."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

I kicked him upstairs to Diaz, Diaz kicked him over to Fennelson, and Fennelson evidently kicked him out the window.

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

"Missing a call is no excuse for eating your assistant."

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

'Don't let anyone in without an appointment, and don't give anyone an appointment.'

"You bring up an important concern, but I'm looking for a problem that better fits my preconceived solution."

Job complaints on road signs.

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

"I'm Action Plan Man. Good luck finding someone to impliment it."

'The boss has a distinct way of chewing you out.'

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

"The boss said this meeting's about taking us back to our origins!"

'We're streamlining efficiency by cutting the staff we employed to improve efficiency.'

'I question his commitment since his ulcer isn't bleeding.'

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

'This breed can smell incompetence.'

I've started a management course. Whattda they teach? Today we did blame shifting.

"I'm sorry, but I don't make the rules around here. But I'd be happy to connect you with any number of people who think they do!"

"I'm looking for someone who's qualified to cover my mistakes."

'We've identified the reason for our earning's shortfall. It seems our company is run by a bunch of rabbits.'

'He installed it to counter the ease with which people are granted access into his office.'

"As my CV says, my approach to project management is of course "the carrot or the stick"..."

'I didn't actually say you were getting a promotion...I was merely lip-synching.'