Management Meme Fan Gifts

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

'You're lazy,ruthless, arrogant and shifty - that's why I'm promoting you to Manager.'

'He's our CEO... Mr. Congeniality.'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'I'm delegating everything but my paycheck and my snazzy office to you.'

Go slow delegating authority. First learn how to delegate blame.

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

I kicked him upstairs to Diaz, Diaz kicked him over to Fennelson, and Fennelson evidently kicked him out the window.

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

"Missing a call is no excuse for eating your assistant."

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

'Don't let anyone in without an appointment, and don't give anyone an appointment.'

Job complaints on road signs.

"There goes the person that proved the Peter principal faster than anyone in history."

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

Change of management - warning about revolving door policy

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

"Delegation is an important attribute of being a leader, but not if you're delegating the leadership!"

"The boss said this meeting's about taking us back to our origins!"

'Take down that stupid sign! It's giving me a headache!'

'We're streamlining efficiency by cutting the staff we employed to improve efficiency.'

'This breed can smell incompetence.'

"What would a competent person do?"

'I question his commitment since his ulcer isn't bleeding.'

'This is so much easier than getting volunteers.'

"As my CV says, my approach to project management is of course "the carrot or the stick"..."

"I will of course yield to whomever agrees with me."

"I'm looking for someone who's qualified to cover my mistakes."

"Big surprise. That cost/benefit analysis cost up more than any benefit we've ever gotten from it."

"Our investigation has concluded that your boss isn't stalking you, Mr. Beamon. He's just micromanaging."

'The union card does it every time.'