Management Meme Fan Pillows

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

'You're lazy,ruthless, arrogant and shifty - that's why I'm promoting you to Manager.'

'He's our CEO... Mr. Congeniality.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'I'm delegating everything but my paycheck and my snazzy office to you.'

Go slow delegating authority. First learn how to delegate blame.

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

"Missing a call is no excuse for eating your assistant."

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

I kicked him upstairs to Diaz, Diaz kicked him over to Fennelson, and Fennelson evidently kicked him out the window.

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

'Don't let anyone in without an appointment, and don't give anyone an appointment.'

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

Change of management - warning about revolving door policy

"There goes the person that proved the Peter principal faster than anyone in history."

Job complaints on road signs.

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

"The boss said this meeting's about taking us back to our origins!"

'Take down that stupid sign! It's giving me a headache!'

"Delegation is an important attribute of being a leader, but not if you're delegating the leadership!"

'We're streamlining efficiency by cutting the staff we employed to improve efficiency.'

"What would a competent person do?"

'I question his commitment since his ulcer isn't bleeding.'

'This breed can smell incompetence.'

"I'm looking for someone who's qualified to cover my mistakes."

"As my CV says, my approach to project management is of course "the carrot or the stick"..."

"I will of course yield to whomever agrees with me."

'This is so much easier than getting volunteers.'

"Big surprise. That cost/benefit analysis cost up more than any benefit we've ever gotten from it."

'The union card does it every time.'

"Our investigation has concluded that your boss isn't stalking you, Mr. Beamon. He's just micromanaging."

Think Small.