Management Meme Enthusiast Pillows

We can offer volunteers a range of experiences including exhaustion,emotional overload,lack of support and stark terror.

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

'I'm delegating everything but my paycheck and my snazzy office to you.'

Go slow delegating authority. First learn how to delegate blame.

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

'Don't let anyone in without an appointment, and don't give anyone an appointment.'

Change of management - warning about revolving door policy

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

Job complaints on road signs.

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

'Take down that stupid sign! It's giving me a headache!'

"Delegation is an important attribute of being a leader, but not if you're delegating the leadership!"

"What would a competent person do?"

'I question his commitment since his ulcer isn't bleeding.'

'This is so much easier than getting volunteers.'

"I will of course yield to whomever agrees with me."

"Our investigation has concluded that your boss isn't stalking you, Mr. Beamon. He's just micromanaging."

Think Small.

"You think you have the boss from hell?!"

'After all these years of purposely losing to the boss, I beat the pulp out of him and turned in my resignation.'

"They're changing the top-down distribution to a bottom-up exchange of half-baked ideas."

'There's been another management shake-up. The former global sales manager is now head of Europe, and the old head of engineering is now head of purchasing.'

"Your idea is useless, but we could use you and save money on lighting."

'I hate this constant atmosphere of always worrying about meeting a deadline.'

Reactive/Proactive

"Ever notice how he wants to go with a team management approach after things go wrong?"

'You're lazy,ruthless, arrogant and shifty - that's why I'm promoting you to Manager.'

"See these? Never touched a keyboard."

'I'm sorry, but I need to replace you with someone who cannot do your job.'