Management Meme Lover Pillows

'I'm making you a silent partner.'

"Our investigation has concluded that your boss isn't stalking you, Mr. Beamon. He's just micromanaging."

"Ever notice how he wants to go with a team management approach after things go wrong?"

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

'This is so much easier than getting volunteers.'

Go slow delegating authority. First learn how to delegate blame.

Reactive/Proactive

'I'm delegating everything but my paycheck and my snazzy office to you.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

I kicked him upstairs to Diaz, Diaz kicked him over to Fennelson, and Fennelson evidently kicked him out the window.

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

'Don't let anyone in without an appointment, and don't give anyone an appointment.'

Job complaints on road signs.

Change of management - warning about revolving door policy

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

"Delegation is an important attribute of being a leader, but not if you're delegating the leadership!"

'Take down that stupid sign! It's giving me a headache!'

'I question his commitment since his ulcer isn't bleeding.'

'This breed can smell incompetence.'

"What would a competent person do?"

"I'm looking for someone who's qualified to cover my mistakes."

"As my CV says, my approach to project management is of course "the carrot or the stick"..."

"I will of course yield to whomever agrees with me."

"You think you have the boss from hell?!"

"Right Smithers... Heads - I sack you; tails - you resign."

Think Small.

'He's worried that the 20% that changes is the only 20% he knows!'

"Can I make my own decisions...what do you think?"

"They're changing the top-down distribution to a bottom-up exchange of half-baked ideas."