Management Meme Collector Pillows

"They're changing the top-down distribution to a bottom-up exchange of half-baked ideas."

Change of management - warning about revolving door policy

'You're fired, clean your desk.'

'I don't want a 'yes-man'. I want a two-legged affirmation.'

"I will of course yield to whomever agrees with me."

"Delegation is an important attribute of being a leader, but not if you're delegating the leadership!"

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

'I'm delegating everything but my paycheck and my snazzy office to you.'

Go slow delegating authority. First learn how to delegate blame.

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

'Don't let anyone in without an appointment, and don't give anyone an appointment.'

Job complaints on road signs.

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

'This better be important.'

'Take down that stupid sign! It's giving me a headache!'

"What would a competent person do?"

'I question his commitment since his ulcer isn't bleeding.'

"Do you want the Boss or someone who knows what they are talking about."

'This is so much easier than getting volunteers.'

"Our investigation has concluded that your boss isn't stalking you, Mr. Beamon. He's just micromanaging."

"You think you have the boss from hell?!"

"When you're too old to work here I will send you to the dog food factory...as dog food."

'After all these years of purposely losing to the boss, I beat the pulp out of him and turned in my resignation.'

Think Small.

"See these? Never touched a keyboard."

"Ever notice how he wants to go with a team management approach after things go wrong?"

'There's been another management shake-up. The former global sales manager is now head of Europe, and the old head of engineering is now head of purchasing.'

'I hate this constant atmosphere of always worrying about meeting a deadline.'

What the hell is goin' on here?!

'You're lazy,ruthless, arrogant and shifty - that's why I'm promoting you to Manager.'

Reactive/Proactive