Mammoth Minder Gifts

'I'm not convinced hunting is an improvement on gathering.'

"Honey, next time you walk the mammoth!"

As the world emerges from the last ice age Ug & Og discuss a historic agreement to reduce CO2 emissions from woolly mammoth barbecues.

"See, Og If mammoth foot ticklish, could me do this"

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Say, Honey, how about a nice salad for supper instead?"

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

Mammoth Posing

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

'Well, shoot. Now Uncle Hector's caught in the ice! It's enough to make you want to move to Florida.'

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

Mammoth Tipping was the most Fatal of Primitive Teen Activities.

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

Analyst and patient

"Mom?"

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

"Let it out. Let it all out."

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

When psychiatry works too well!