Making Excuses Pillows

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

Homework flavored dog food

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

Lame Lines

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

Great excuses No 964 'I was on my way to the gym when I was abducted by alliens from the planet Sanrg who took me to their ship and force fed me choc-chip ice cream.'

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

'I was just, er, conserving energy.'

"C'mon. I've been saving for a rainy day.''

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

"My dog deleted my excuses app."

'Of course I've not dusted - you know I prefer a matt finish!'

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

'Can you stop giving me homework, Miss...My dog's putting on weight.'

"It was a huge topical depression bringing with it cyclonic winds, mountainous seas, severe flooding, and a damage bill of millions of dollars, mum!"