Professional Excuse Maker Pillows

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'My dog ate my computer.'

Hunting Skool. What about your project, Oogie? The dot ate my homework.

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

Homework flavored dog food

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

'If we can't come up with better ideas, at least we should have better excuses.'

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

'Homework done only $1.00' 'Homework eaten only $0.50'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

"Once again one of your "I'm late because I was abducted and operated on by aliens" excuses?"

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'

Lame Lines

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

Assignments Due. The Russians hacked my homework.

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"Breakfast will be a little late. Our computer's down."

"...according to my records Tomkins, this is your grandmother's seventh funeral."

How to deal with weeds

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'