Tactical Excuse Maker Pillows

'I don't have any fish. . . Because I catch and release, yeah, that's it, catch and release!'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

Homework flavored dog food

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

Lame Lines

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

Assignments Due. The Russians hacked my homework.

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

"I'm sorry, Tom... but you don't Chronic Fatigue Syndrome if it only when you're going to see your inlaws."

'Of course I've not dusted - you know I prefer a matt finish!'

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

"My dog deleted my excuses app."

"C'mon. I've been saving for a rainy day.''

'Can you stop giving me homework, Miss...My dog's putting on weight.'

'It's a long story.'

My dog ate my flash drive, and that's where I stored my homework.

'It's not my fault! My dad channel surfs constantly!'

"The brakes still feel spongy to me."

I'm sorry, but my life is just way too complicated to start dating anybody right now. I have a part-time job, basic cable and a very demanding cactus plant. ! !

"It was a huge topical depression bringing with it cyclonic winds, mountainous seas, severe flooding, and a damage bill of millions of dollars, mum!"

This smart phone comes with excuses for not keeping in touch with your mother.

'Jogging's too dangerous for me. I tried it once, and I rear-ended a mailman.'

Homework: Bring Your Kitty To School. 'My dog ate my homework.'

'Sleeping at my desk? Uh, no, I was just buffering.'

"Sorry I can't make it tonight, I'm busy organising my widgets."