Silly Excuse Maker Pillows

"Sorry I can't make it tonight, I'm busy organising my widgets."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

Homework flavored dog food

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

Lame Lines

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

Assignments Due. The Russians hacked my homework.

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

"C'mon. I've been saving for a rainy day.''

"My dog deleted my excuses app."

'Of course I've not dusted - you know I prefer a matt finish!'

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

'Can you stop giving me homework, Miss...My dog's putting on weight.'

'It's a long story.'

"The brakes still feel spongy to me."

I'm sorry, but my life is just way too complicated to start dating anybody right now. I have a part-time job, basic cable and a very demanding cactus plant. ! !

This smart phone comes with excuses for not keeping in touch with your mother.

"It was a huge topical depression bringing with it cyclonic winds, mountainous seas, severe flooding, and a damage bill of millions of dollars, mum!"

My dog ate my flash drive, and that's where I stored my homework.

'It's not my fault! My dad channel surfs constantly!'

'Jogging's too dangerous for me. I tried it once, and I rear-ended a mailman.'

'Sleeping at my desk? Uh, no, I was just buffering.'