Ironic Excuse Maker Pillows

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

Homework flavored dog food

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

Lame Lines

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

"C'mon. I've been saving for a rainy day.''

"My dog deleted my excuses app."

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

'Of course I've not dusted - you know I prefer a matt finish!'

'Can you stop giving me homework, Miss...My dog's putting on weight.'

This smart phone comes with excuses for not keeping in touch with your mother.

My dog ate my flash drive, and that's where I stored my homework.

"It was a huge topical depression bringing with it cyclonic winds, mountainous seas, severe flooding, and a damage bill of millions of dollars, mum!"

'It's not my fault! My dad channel surfs constantly!'

'Jogging's too dangerous for me. I tried it once, and I rear-ended a mailman.'

'Sleeping at my desk? Uh, no, I was just buffering.'

'The dog ate my homework, here's his vomit to prove it.'

The dog that does the homework...