Ironic Excuse Maker Gifts

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

Homework flavored dog food

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

Lame Lines

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

Assignments Due. The Russians hacked my homework.

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

"C'mon. I've been saving for a rainy day.''

"My dog deleted my excuses app."

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

'Of course I've not dusted - you know I prefer a matt finish!'

'Can you stop giving me homework, Miss...My dog's putting on weight.'

'It's a long story.'

I'm sorry, but my life is just way too complicated to start dating anybody right now. I have a part-time job, basic cable and a very demanding cactus plant. ! !

"The brakes still feel spongy to me."

This smart phone comes with excuses for not keeping in touch with your mother.

My dog ate my flash drive, and that's where I stored my homework.

"It was a huge topical depression bringing with it cyclonic winds, mountainous seas, severe flooding, and a damage bill of millions of dollars, mum!"

'It's not my fault! My dad channel surfs constantly!'

'Jogging's too dangerous for me. I tried it once, and I rear-ended a mailman.'

Homework: Bring Your Kitty To School. 'My dog ate my homework.'

'Sleeping at my desk? Uh, no, I was just buffering.'

Kid about report card: 'I had technical problems.'