Professional Excuse Crafter Pillows

'Why can't I see the type of imagination you put in this excuse note in your school reports?'

Do it yourself books.

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

Homework flavored dog food

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

Lame Lines

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

"C'mon. I've been saving for a rainy day.''

"My dog deleted my excuses app."

'Of course I've not dusted - you know I prefer a matt finish!'

'Can you stop giving me homework, Miss...My dog's putting on weight.'

This smart phone comes with excuses for not keeping in touch with your mother.

"It was a huge topical depression bringing with it cyclonic winds, mountainous seas, severe flooding, and a damage bill of millions of dollars, mum!"

My dog ate my flash drive, and that's where I stored my homework.

'Jogging's too dangerous for me. I tried it once, and I rear-ended a mailman.'

'I'm very creative and creative people are not afraid to fail.'

'Sleeping at my desk? Uh, no, I was just buffering.'

'I don't have any fish. . . Because I catch and release, yeah, that's it, catch and release!'