Making Excuses Gifts

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

Homework flavored dog food

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

Lame Lines

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

Assignments Due. The Russians hacked my homework.

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

Great excuses No 964 'I was on my way to the gym when I was abducted by alliens from the planet Sanrg who took me to their ship and force fed me choc-chip ice cream.'

'I was just, er, conserving energy.'

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

'Of course I've not dusted - you know I prefer a matt finish!'

"My dog deleted my excuses app."

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

"C'mon. I've been saving for a rainy day.''

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

'It's a long story.'

'Can you stop giving me homework, Miss...My dog's putting on weight.'

"It was a huge topical depression bringing with it cyclonic winds, mountainous seas, severe flooding, and a damage bill of millions of dollars, mum!"

I'm sorry, but my life is just way too complicated to start dating anybody right now. I have a part-time job, basic cable and a very demanding cactus plant. ! !