Makeup Skeptics Pillows

"What's a makeup party?"

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Too much concealer?"

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"I don't like your application."

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

"Where are my eyelashes?"

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Woman applying makeup

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

'We're too late for the Xmas Eve shindig but if you hurry we can just about make the New Year Eve one!'

The US election is over.

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

"It's depressing, people just don't take our work seriously."

"I maybe a little overweight, I'm wearing make up today."

"We're running a little late. The Mrs. is still putting on her face."

New Shades 2020

"Someone's been sending me J. Crew catalogues."

Animal cosmetic testing

'No, it's not a special on the Grand Canyon. It's an actor's face in high definition.'

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

'You smell as if you're nearly ready.'

'You smell as if you're nearly ready.'

'...and then one night he saw me without any makeup.'

'My doctor told me these new Botox injections could be harmful.'

"Honestly Xanthe. You really need to start spending more on the lipsticks you lend me."

Twig! Please come into my bathroom! Have you been using my makeup? You're paranoid! Everything is in its place. Why would you accuse me? Just a hunch.

A grave with an array of beauty products

Bill Jones - Bill Jones w/out makeup