Skincare Skeptics Pillows

'Spread it on, lick it off.'

When prunes lose the plot: they advertise anti wrinkle cream.

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

Desert Dermatologist

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

'I Love the touch of your dry flakey skin!'

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

The US election is over.

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

"How come your skin is sooooo smooth?"

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

Tips on how to reduce those unsightly crow's feet.

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

'Mildred....is that you?'

'No, it's not a special on the Grand Canyon. It's an actor's face in high definition.'

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

Beauty Products - for women, and for men (exactly the same, but with turbo added).

'These facial wraps work great on dead skin.'

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

Tanning salons to avoid. . .

'My doctor told me these new Botox injections could be harmful.'

'I'm sure I'm getting worry lines worring if this anti wrinkle cream is working!'

Mooseturizer: Tired of those annoying Dry and Chafed antlers?

'You created a new skin disease from scratch.'

'That new concealer works great!'

'What I wouldn't give for some good eczema medication!'