Beauty Industry Skeptic Pillows

'Plastic surgeons? Don't talk to me about Plastic Surgeons!'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

It finally happened, models so thin they only consist of few molecules.

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

'No, it's not a special on the Grand Canyon. It's an actor's face in high definition.'

Animal cosmetic testing

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

'My doctor told me these new Botox injections could be harmful.'

Magazines.

'Look! The first active ingredient is marketing spin.'

'I think I'm starting to develop crow's feet, Lance. What should I do?'

Unnecessary Surgery

"...and the women who used the placebo makeup turned out to be just as attractive."

"People here seem to appreciate the before and after photos much more than my previous job."

'Mom, when did your beauty start to slip?'

Gentlemen, don't think of this as a corporate takeover, it's a corporate makeover.

Hair stylist images his work as butterfly, customer sees caterpillar.

'No, we don't do any animal testing, but don't rule out a pop quiz once in a while.'

When prunes lose the plot: they advertise anti wrinkle cream.

'The bad news is, it didn't grow hair. The good news is, he's being featured in 'Better Homes and Gardens'.' (Quick Gro tub next to chair.)

'Why do you think they call it 'Active Wear' not 'Sitting Wear'?'

"I allege that the defendant is not a 2-in-1 shampoo conditioner, but, in fact, a 3-in-1 shampoo conditioner murderer."

Sneer-leading

"Done." "But you only cut one hair!" "Well, if you wanted more done you should've gone across the street to Hairs-R-Us."