Cosmetics Critique Pillows

'I don't know about you, but I'll be glad when that ban on testing cosmetics on us begins.'

"That shirt is so last year."

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'Fashion Police Incident Area'

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

'I'm glad to see you finally pulled in sales. Nevertheless, you're fired. Here, we're dealing with socks and shoes, not with suits and shirts.'

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

"Would you have anything a bit...'stupider'?"

'If we can't stand up to the insurance lobby, why would the public think we can stand up against the Taliban?'

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."

"She's genetically modified, you know."

"Yes... you'll be wearing that bridesmaids dress for eternity!"

"December 29, 1991: Janet sacrifices months of self esteem therapy for the perfect New Year's Eve dress." "It's called an 'Everest' gown because it would be a monumental task to squeeze that mountain you call an ass into it."

"Wow, maybe Heidi Klum looks like Gisele Bundchen."

Animal cosmetic testing

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

'True rupture is rare. Ladies' breasts are most commonly bursting simply with admiration for me and my skills.'

How to recognize a German tourist...

Prices include consultation with fashion therapist.

Romee Strijd caricature

'Google Earth is getting SO precise! Right now, I'm zoomed in on Kathy Mangiante's face and I can tell she's had lip implants!'

'Isn't it enough to have long hair?'

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

"Sorry, but it's store policy to remove man buns by any means necessary."

'Too much Botox, Mavis.'

'What's with kids nowadays and tattoos?'