Modern Beauty Critic Pillows

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

Woman looking into a mirror

"Define fair."

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

"AI designed my statue."

"She's genetically modified, you know."

Animal cosmetic testing

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

'True rupture is rare. Ladies' breasts are most commonly bursting simply with admiration for me and my skills.'

How to recognize a German tourist...

'Isn't it enough to have long hair?'

Romee Strijd caricature

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

Pfft! I could do that.

'Google Earth is getting SO precise! Right now, I'm zoomed in on Kathy Mangiante's face and I can tell she's had lip implants!'

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

'Too much Botox, Mavis.'

'What's with kids nowadays and tattoos?'

'I was born as beautiful as you, but after a few years you will see...'

"...and the women who used the placebo makeup turned out to be just as attractive."

TV Programme - Celebrity cosmetically enhanced body parts.

"Actually, I do look a lot like my mom. It's just that I have her first nose."

"Yeah, I agree, it is a but unexpected since you were such a handsome caterpillar..."