Modern Beauty Critic T-Shirts

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

Woman looking into a mirror

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

"Define fair."

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

"We encourage Theo to challenge clichés and mediocrity."

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

"Do these puffy pants make me look less tyrannical?"

"I'm sick and tired of black."

"AI designed my statue."

"She's genetically modified, you know."

Animal cosmetic testing

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

Martina Klein

'True rupture is rare. Ladies' breasts are most commonly bursting simply with admiration for me and my skills.'

How to recognize a German tourist...

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

'Isn't it enough to have long hair?'

Pfft! I could do that.

Frank and Ernest Updated Fairy Tales. Do you mean fair like "pretty" or fair like "evenhanded"?

Romee Strijd caricature

Katy Perry

'Google Earth is getting SO precise! Right now, I'm zoomed in on Kathy Mangiante's face and I can tell she's had lip implants!'

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

'Too much Botox, Mavis.'

'What's with kids nowadays and tattoos?'

"...and the women who used the placebo makeup turned out to be just as attractive."

"Yeah, I agree, it is a but unexpected since you were such a handsome caterpillar..."

'I was born as beautiful as you, but after a few years you will see...'

"Actually, I do look a lot like my mom. It's just that I have her first nose."

TV Programme - Celebrity cosmetically enhanced body parts.