Beauty Critic T-Shirts

"Actually, I do look a lot like my mom. It's just that I have her first nose."

"Are you starting to feel fabulous yet?"

"Somehow, on you it doesn't look shaved—it just looks bald."

"I'm suck if this pressure to be beautiful all the time."

'Google Earth is getting SO precise! Right now, I'm zoomed in on Kathy Mangiante's face and I can tell she's had lip implants!'

TV Programme - Celebrity cosmetically enhanced body parts.

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

"I asked for razzle-dazzle – not frizzle-frazzle."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"That shirt is so last year."

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

Non-Uniform Day Today.

"Botox."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"You're wearing too much rouge."

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

Rating the Sunset

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

"More concealer?"

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."