Beauty Critic T-Shirts

"Actually, I do look a lot like my mom. It's just that I have her first nose."

"Are you starting to feel fabulous yet?"

"Somehow, on you it doesn't look shaved—it just looks bald."

"I'm suck if this pressure to be beautiful all the time."

Frank and Ernest Updated Fairy Tales. Do you mean fair like "pretty" or fair like "evenhanded"?

Martina Klein

'Google Earth is getting SO precise! Right now, I'm zoomed in on Kathy Mangiante's face and I can tell she's had lip implants!'

TV Programme - Celebrity cosmetically enhanced body parts.

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

"I asked for razzle-dazzle – not frizzle-frazzle."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

"That shirt is so last year."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Non-Uniform Day Today.

"Botox."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

"You're wearing too much rouge."

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

Rating the Sunset

"More concealer?"

"I hope he's wearing pants."

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'