Ethical Beauty Critic T-Shirts

Animal cosmetic testing

Woman looking into a mirror

"Define fair."

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

"She's genetically modified, you know."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

Martina Klein

'True rupture is rare. Ladies' breasts are most commonly bursting simply with admiration for me and my skills.'

Katy Perry

Romee Strijd caricature

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

Frank and Ernest Updated Fairy Tales. Do you mean fair like "pretty" or fair like "evenhanded"?

'Google Earth is getting SO precise! Right now, I'm zoomed in on Kathy Mangiante's face and I can tell she's had lip implants!'

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

'Too much Botox, Mavis.'

"...and the women who used the placebo makeup turned out to be just as attractive."

Ew, I look terrible! Take one more!

"Yeah, I agree, it is a but unexpected since you were such a handsome caterpillar..."

'I was born as beautiful as you, but after a few years you will see...'

TV Programme - Celebrity cosmetically enhanced body parts.

Unnecessary Surgery

"Actually, I do look a lot like my mom. It's just that I have her first nose."

'The truth is there is no 'Youth Formula' worth millions. This is Mountain Dew.'

"I'm sorry, I can't help you - they just pay me to sit here and look pretty."

"I asked for razzle-dazzle – not frizzle-frazzle."

"I was once a very beautiful woman, but forty years of reading the 'Times' has taken its toll."

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

'Mom, when did your beauty start to slip?'

"I'm suck if this pressure to be beautiful all the time."

'There, but for liposuction, go I.'

What puberty used to do. What puberty apparently does now.

Lara Catherina Stone