Ethical Beauty Critic Gifts

Animal cosmetic testing

Woman looking into a mirror

"Define fair."

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

"She's genetically modified, you know."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

'True rupture is rare. Ladies' breasts are most commonly bursting simply with admiration for me and my skills.'

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

'Google Earth is getting SO precise! Right now, I'm zoomed in on Kathy Mangiante's face and I can tell she's had lip implants!'

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

Romee Strijd caricature

'Too much Botox, Mavis.'

"Yeah, I agree, it is a but unexpected since you were such a handsome caterpillar..."

"...and the women who used the placebo makeup turned out to be just as attractive."

'I was born as beautiful as you, but after a few years you will see...'

TV Programme - Celebrity cosmetically enhanced body parts.

Unnecessary Surgery

"Actually, I do look a lot like my mom. It's just that I have her first nose."

"I'm sorry, I can't help you - they just pay me to sit here and look pretty."

"I asked for razzle-dazzle – not frizzle-frazzle."

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

"I'm suck if this pressure to be beautiful all the time."

'There, but for liposuction, go I.'

What puberty used to do. What puberty apparently does now.

'Mom, when did your beauty start to slip?'

The Beauty of Physics