Beauty Standards Critic Gifts

"She's genetically modified, you know."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

What puberty used to do. What puberty apparently does now.

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

'There, but for liposuction, go I.'

Romee Strijd caricature

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

Missing my hair.

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

The experts thoughts that the aliens were super-intelligent were fooled by their hideous hairstyles.

Bar Refaeli

Animal cosmetic testing

Martina Klein

'True rupture is rare. Ladies' breasts are most commonly bursting simply with admiration for me and my skills.'

Whatever look you were aiming for..you missed!

'Google Earth is getting SO precise! Right now, I'm zoomed in on Kathy Mangiante's face and I can tell she's had lip implants!'

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

Frank and Ernest Updated Fairy Tales. Do you mean fair like "pretty" or fair like "evenhanded"?

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

"Girlfriend, you're not fat. You're just retaining a little water."

Katy Perry

"The sideburns really do nothing for me!"

'Too much Botox, Mavis.'

"Of course I love your long hair Rapunzel. But maybe you could shave your legs just once in a while?"

TV Programme - Celebrity cosmetically enhanced body parts.

"Actually, I do look a lot like my mom. It's just that I have her first nose."

"In my culture it is very important to have straight teeth."

"What? It's been ten years. . . She's had six kids for goodness sake. She can't still be the fairest of them all!"

"...and the women who used the placebo makeup turned out to be just as attractive."

"Naturally curly hair."

'I was born as beautiful as you, but after a few years you will see...'

"I'm sorry, I can't help you - they just pay me to sit here and look pretty."