Beauty Standards Critic Gifts

"She's genetically modified, you know."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

What puberty used to do. What puberty apparently does now.

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

'There, but for liposuction, go I.'

Romee Strijd caricature

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

Missing my hair.

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

The experts thoughts that the aliens were super-intelligent were fooled by their hideous hairstyles.

Animal cosmetic testing

'True rupture is rare. Ladies' breasts are most commonly bursting simply with admiration for me and my skills.'

Whatever look you were aiming for..you missed!

'Google Earth is getting SO precise! Right now, I'm zoomed in on Kathy Mangiante's face and I can tell she's had lip implants!'

"Girlfriend, you're not fat. You're just retaining a little water."

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

"The sideburns really do nothing for me!"

'Too much Botox, Mavis.'

"...and the women who used the placebo makeup turned out to be just as attractive."

"Of course I love your long hair Rapunzel. But maybe you could shave your legs just once in a while?"

'I was born as beautiful as you, but after a few years you will see...'

"Naturally curly hair."

"What? It's been ten years. . . She's had six kids for goodness sake. She can't still be the fairest of them all!"

"Actually, I do look a lot like my mom. It's just that I have her first nose."

TV Programme - Celebrity cosmetically enhanced body parts.

"I'm sorry, I can't help you - they just pay me to sit here and look pretty."

"I asked for razzle-dazzle – not frizzle-frazzle."

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

"I'm suck if this pressure to be beautiful all the time."

Glop With Packaging