Beauty Standard Analyst Gifts

Bad hair day!

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Pampered and poodled.

Dating is so expensive...

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

New Twenty Blades

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

'Botox...'

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

Mirror mirror...

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

"More concealer?"

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

A cow with a Brazilian.

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'