Mafia Consultant Gifts

"According to your resume, your last three employers are some of the biggest crime families on the eastern seaboard. I don't know what position you've applied for, but welcome to the company."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

Gangsta wrap.

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

"Sorry, Boss, I thought you wanted me to make it look like an accident."

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

This is your last warning, Jimmy - You break your pinky promise, we break your pinky.

'Did you get the hit man Frankie?'

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

'Relax... When I said, your husband's swimming with the fishes. I merely meant that he's gone SCUBA diving with the boss.'

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"Your resume indicates a fair bit of experience in the field of problem solving."

'When did mum stop just sending us to our room?'

"Make it look like natural selection."

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

Her brother's on the building opposite with an M16.

If we have to come back, I'm gonna bust your kneecaps, and Ira's going to cancel your insurance.

The Dark Side of the Lone Ranger

Musical Bad Guys: Scarface Scarlatti, Saxaphone Capone, Machine Gun Grapelli, Meanie Toscaninni, Killer Caruso....

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

'Hi. I'm Don.'