Mafia Consultant Pillows

"According to your resume, your last three employers are some of the biggest crime families on the eastern seaboard. I don't know what position you've applied for, but welcome to the company."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

Gangsta wrap.

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

'Did you get the hit man Frankie?'

'Relax... When I said, your husband's swimming with the fishes. I merely meant that he's gone SCUBA diving with the boss.'

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

'When did mum stop just sending us to our room?'

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"Your resume indicates a fair bit of experience in the field of problem solving."

"Make it look like natural selection."

Mafia machine gun case.

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

Raffia Mafia - "Vinny, there's some nice baskets comin' in through Queens."

'Hi. I'm Don.'

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

The Dark Side of the Lone Ranger