Mafia Boss Pillows

'Relax... When I said, your husband's swimming with the fishes. I merely meant that he's gone SCUBA diving with the boss.'

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

'Big Mikey will now add a few bullet points.'

Pin it all on the donkey

A pirate in a pinstripe suit makes someone walk the plank

The Dark Side of the Lone Ranger

"He's a potential organ donor so be careful when you whack him."

Track'em Whack'em

'Sammy's going to take you for a little walk.'

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"I want you to bring him back, in pieces."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

Gangsta wrap.

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

'Did you get the hit man Frankie?'

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

"According to your resume, your last three employers are some of the biggest crime families on the eastern seaboard. I don't know what position you've applied for, but welcome to the company."

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

'When did mum stop just sending us to our room?'

"Your resume indicates a fair bit of experience in the field of problem solving."

"Make it look like natural selection."

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

Raffia Mafia - "Vinny, there's some nice baskets comin' in through Queens."

Her brother's on the building opposite with an M16.

Mafia machine gun case.

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"