Mafia Detective Pillows

Kid selling his Dad's organs to a mafia boss on the internet

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

'Sure we've got a lot of anger. We also got a lot cement.'

This is your last warning, Jimmy - You break your pinky promise, we break your pinky.

'Did you get the hit man Frankie?'

'Relax... When I said, your husband's swimming with the fishes. I merely meant that he's gone SCUBA diving with the boss.'

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

"Angelo tells us you haven't been laughing."

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

'When did mum stop just sending us to our room?'

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

"Make it look like natural selection."

The Dark Side of the Lone Ranger

'My meeting is running a little late, Marge. Can you reheat dinner when I get home?'

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

Whacked music.

Her brother's on the building opposite with an M16.

'Hi. I'm Don.'

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

Raffia Mafia - "Vinny, there's some nice baskets comin' in through Queens."

If we have to come back, I'm gonna bust your kneecaps, and Ira's going to cancel your insurance.

Musical Bad Guys: Scarface Scarlatti, Saxaphone Capone, Machine Gun Grapelli, Meanie Toscaninni, Killer Caruso....

"Now that's what I call organised crime!"

"So long, Tortellini, it's an offer you can't defuse."

Mafia Marriage Guidance

'Drop him again, Louie.'