Mafia Culture Gifts

'Don't worry about my husband, he stays out quite late since he started working for those Italian guys, in the black limousines.'

'Help! Miami Beach Mafiosi attack!'

It was rumoured that Santa did the occasional favour the mafia.

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

Gangsta wrap.

This is your last warning, Jimmy - You break your pinky promise, we break your pinky.

'Sure we've got a lot of anger. We also got a lot cement.'

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

'When did mum stop just sending us to our room?'

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"Keep your best friend close but the squirrels closer."

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

Musical Bad Guys: Scarface Scarlatti, Saxaphone Capone, Machine Gun Grapelli, Meanie Toscaninni, Killer Caruso....

Raffia Mafia - "Vinny, there's some nice baskets comin' in through Queens."

If we have to come back, I'm gonna bust your kneecaps, and Ira's going to cancel your insurance.

The Godfather Sends Chess Master Bobby Fischer a Message. . .

'My meeting is running a little late, Marge. Can you reheat dinner when I get home?'

'Hi. I'm Don.'

"Now that's what I call organised crime!"

Mafia Marriage Guidance

'Drop him again, Louie.'

"So long, Tortellini, it's an offer you can't defuse."

Orca-nized crime - 'I want you to find Finny Dorsalni and make him sleep with the humans.'