Mafia Narratives Gifts

'He puts on a big tough-guy front, but he cried and cried during the 'Sopranos' finale.'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

Gangsta wrap.

This is your last warning, Jimmy - You break your pinky promise, we break your pinky.

'Sure we've got a lot of anger. We also got a lot cement.'

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

"Keep your best friend close but the squirrels closer."

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

'When did mum stop just sending us to our room?'

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

'Help! Miami Beach Mafiosi attack!'

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

Raffia Mafia - "Vinny, there's some nice baskets comin' in through Queens."

'Hi. I'm Don.'

Musical Bad Guys: Scarface Scarlatti, Saxaphone Capone, Machine Gun Grapelli, Meanie Toscaninni, Killer Caruso....

'My meeting is running a little late, Marge. Can you reheat dinner when I get home?'

If we have to come back, I'm gonna bust your kneecaps, and Ira's going to cancel your insurance.

The Godfather Sends Chess Master Bobby Fischer a Message. . .

"Now that's what I call organised crime!"

"So long, Tortellini, it's an offer you can't defuse."

Orca-nized crime - 'I want you to find Finny Dorsalni and make him sleep with the humans.'

Mafia Marriage Guidance

'Drop him again, Louie.'

"Now you will be the accountant to the fishes."

The Wrath of the Godfather of Ventriloquism

"There's a mouse needs taking care of..."