Mafia Tales Gifts

'Hi. I'm Don.'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

This is your last warning, Jimmy - You break your pinky promise, we break your pinky.

"Sorry, Boss, I thought you wanted me to make it look like an accident."

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

'Sure we've got a lot of anger. We also got a lot cement.'

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"Your resume indicates a fair bit of experience in the field of problem solving."

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

'When did mum stop just sending us to our room?'

Musical Bad Guys: Scarface Scarlatti, Saxaphone Capone, Machine Gun Grapelli, Meanie Toscaninni, Killer Caruso....

If we have to come back, I'm gonna bust your kneecaps, and Ira's going to cancel your insurance.

'My meeting is running a little late, Marge. Can you reheat dinner when I get home?'

Mafia machine gun case.

Raffia Mafia - "Vinny, there's some nice baskets comin' in through Queens."

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

The Godfather Sends Chess Master Bobby Fischer a Message. . .

'Help! Miami Beach Mafiosi attack!'

"Now that's what I call organised crime!"