Mafia Stories Gifts

'If you can't distinguish right from wrong, you have no business being the head of a crime family.'

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

'Mafia Online.'

"...if my boss likes what he sees in here, you’ll be rolling in treats."

"Listen, buddy, you'll start talkin' when Jimmy The Hand gets a hold of ya."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'I'll try the Gangster Wrap.'

"Different strokes for different folks, O'Malley. Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes."

'Aye, he'll come up a treat next spring.'

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

'Sure we've got a lot of anger. We also got a lot cement.'

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

'Did you get the hit man Frankie?'

'Relax... When I said, your husband's swimming with the fishes. I merely meant that he's gone SCUBA diving with the boss.'

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

"Your resume indicates a fair bit of experience in the field of problem solving."

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"Make it look like natural selection."

Mafia machine gun case.

Her brother's on the building opposite with an M16.

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

Raffia Mafia - "Vinny, there's some nice baskets comin' in through Queens."

'Hi. I'm Don.'

'Help! Miami Beach Mafiosi attack!'