Mafia Lore Lover Gifts

"Is it shoot a cold, stab a fever?"

"I won't be at work today. My feet are stuck in a tub of cement!"

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Housekeeping?!"

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

He loves the water.

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

The Birthday Mafia Sends a message.

Fish mobsters.

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

'Every time you lose an argument, you put a horse's head on my side of the bed!'

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

Gangsta wrap.

This is your last warning, Jimmy - You break your pinky promise, we break your pinky.

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

"Sorry, Boss, I thought you wanted me to make it look like an accident."

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

'When did mum stop just sending us to our room?'

"Angelo tells us you haven't been laughing."

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"Keep your best friend close but the squirrels closer."

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

"Your resume indicates a fair bit of experience in the field of problem solving."