Loyalty Programs Gifts

'Is it wrong to accept a loyalty card from more than one supermarket, Father?'

'Welcome - would either of you like to join our Frequent Sinner Programme?'

"I didn't know we had to take an oath with their loyalty card."

Frequent Visitor

"Wow, you've got tons of loyalty points. Someone's a good boy!"

Wait, don't forget your punch card - If you visit five more times, you get a free secret of the universe!

Mega*Air. Ohh, sorry, sir. With a round trip ticket the frequent flyer miles cancel each other out.

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

'And how many frequent flyer miles do you have?'

'I have more air miles than I'll ever be able to use!'

'Our credit card company is offering rewards points for spending more than we earn.'

"I know he's a regular customer Miss Jones, but a loyalty card will suffice..."

"Thank you for your participation in our loyalty rewards program!"

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

"Can I interest you in our frequent flyer scheme?"

You've Got Mail

"I hate to break it to you, but you weren't his best friend."

'Of course I have your loyalty card - Can you tell me which one it is?'

"As a reward for 25 years of faithful service, here's your new cubical...it's 8% bigger!"

"I know he is now our richest client but he is very loyal!"

'Uh oh, looks like he had a tough day at the office: Let's jump around to cheer him up...'

The whole club stands behind the coach...

Dog following it's master out of a windows.

"The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog." - Ambrose Bierce

Punch Card: 'The next divorce is on me.'

"After we got Buster fixed, he no longer wants to be our best friend."

Is there anything you want to say to me? Get back to work? I pay you too much? I can hire a migrant worker for half your pay and he won't complain to me in English? And he probably won't be loyal to you and this cafe for 20 years. Twenty years. Twenty years. It's your 20-year anniversary? I'm assuming that's the extent of your acknowledgment of this momentous occasion, and I should not expect a cake. You may have a day-old cruller for half price.

'All those years you struggled financially, I stood by you. It's my turn for a little piece of the pie.'

"Are you a platinum card member?"