Low-calorie Foods Gifts

'We've given up sugar in tea,coffee and puddings.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Thought bubble mirrors the cloud in the sky.

Heart Disease Menu

Making healthy eating bearable.

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"We're not just some tavern, you know. Those Greek olives make us a Taverna."

"It's made from all our old leftovers. I call it 'Rescue Casserole.'"

Sawdust.

"One slice—hold the bread."

"I'm going across the street for a sandwich and coffee. Can I get you something?"

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

Slow food.

'How's your liver?', 'Okay for now, but my doctor told me to take it easy.'

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons, then it became a moral choice, and now it's just to annoy people."

'I don't care if it IS Tofurkey...I am not eating that!'

'Not fair. This dessert is made out of broccoli and carrots.'

"There's a storm in my tea cup, I wonder if it has a name?"

Low Carb Slop

Policeman wishing for lighter food than meat in hot weather

Dinosaur laughing at another being hit by small meteorite.

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

'Ol' Zeke across the mountain's been stealing all my business with his new low-carb moonshine!'

Mind if we eat rural tonight?My doctor says I need more fibre in my diet.

When Chassidim sit outside for too long.

He waited patiently, but his chips refused to fall.

Other Walks of Shame

Almond Milk, Coconut Milk, and Whole Milk.

Nutritionist - Out to a Low Carb Lunch.