Low-calorie Seeker Gifts

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Sawdust.

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

"To be honest...if it wasn't for the dog I wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

'Treasure map nothing! This shows the location of the only coffee shop on the island.'

'Don't worry. His diet's only last a day or two.'

Hipster Coffee

Books or Junk Food.

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

'The health plate is low in sodium, cholesterol, and sugar -- the downside is that it's high in styrofoam.'

"Pace yourself, Mother."

'Today's Sermon: Good Cholestrol Vs. Bad Cholestrol'

Street sign: 'Life gets even more complicated here to corner.'

'What you need is some negative growth.'

'So, any thoughts?'

Low fat diets.

One of several sugar maple trees is labled sugar free.

'Do you want a fright with that?'

"Your java, sweet princess."

"Will the four main food groups fit on a pizza?"

"Why don't you lose weight?"

'Diets are easy, I've been on loads of them.'

Espresso Lanes

'Okay, mine says, 'Eat healthier foods. The current health care system really sucks.''

"Does skipping breakfast count as both exercise and dieting?"

"From now on, all coffee will be caffeinated!"