Low-calorie Seeker Gifts

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

Sawdust.

"To be honest...if it wasn't for the dog I wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

'Treasure map nothing! This shows the location of the only coffee shop on the island.'

Books or Junk Food.

'Don't worry. His diet's only last a day or two.'

Hipster Coffee

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

'The health plate is low in sodium, cholesterol, and sugar -- the downside is that it's high in styrofoam.'

'Today's Sermon: Good Cholestrol Vs. Bad Cholestrol'

'What you need is some negative growth.'

Street sign: 'Life gets even more complicated here to corner.'

"Pace yourself, Mother."

Low fat diets.

"Your java, sweet princess."

'Do you want a fright with that?'

One of several sugar maple trees is labled sugar free.

'Okay, mine says, 'Eat healthier foods. The current health care system really sucks.''

"From now on, all coffee will be caffeinated!"

"Why don't you lose weight?"

"Does skipping breakfast count as both exercise and dieting?"

Espresso Lanes

"Will the four main food groups fit on a pizza?"

'Diets are easy, I've been on loads of them.'

Life on Earth - Superfat.