Fitness Seeker Gifts

Weight Loss Clinic with a very wide 'in' door and a very narrow 'out' door

'After extensive X-rays and blood tests, we've confirmed what we alread suspected - you're not big-boned, you're fat.'

'I joined an exercise class to meet men, but all the men there needed the exercise way too much.'

"If you don't what to know the result...look away now"

"You need to improve your fitness."

"Pace yourself, Mother."

"I joined an exercise class to meet men, but all the men there needed the exercise way too much."

"A diet? - but I dieted YESTERDAY!"

Obese Man on Scales

'You carry on to those machines. I'll stay here with this one.'

"To be honest...if it wasn't for the dog I wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

'What you need is a refrigerator with speed bumps.'

'Diets are easy, I've been on loads of them.'

'Maybe we should think about losing some weight!'

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

"It started with his doctor prescribing him cycling."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Muscles

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Bench Press Accident

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"We're exclusively delts."

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

Exercise Bars

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

Are You a Quarathlete? Nifty Exercises You Can Do In Lockdown

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

'C'mon, guys. That old geezer just leg pressed 400 pounds when he got up from the chair.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'