Low Mileage Seeker Gifts

'This was only driven back and forth in the driveway by an obsessive compulsive.'

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"I, TikTok."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.

"He's deliciously vintage."

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'See here, Flanigan ? what's this I hear about you going over my head to the computer?'

Jackson Pollock Signs A Rent Check

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

Silver Fox

Do not disturb...

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"What I mean is what do you do with yourself all day?"

"No guarantees, right?"

Real Estate Personals

'This isn't the meeting. This is the pre-premeeting to talk about when to meet and plan the meeting.'

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

"Hey, it's me. I just sent you a text message responding to your e-mail saying that I should IM you."

The new electronic system is efficient, but the garage had to sacrifice parking spaces for it.

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

"You're stealing the blanket."

'Music hath charms,' &c.

Trillion dollar Dream Merchants - on a screen near you.

Louis XIV

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.